I don’t think anyone knows how the YouTube algorithms work, so it’s always funny when certain videos seem to come out of nowhere and pop up on everyone’s “suggested videos” list years after they were first uploaded. And oftentimes they are the most random videos that nobody would have ever watched or even known about. That happened to be the case recently with this 1980s skiers vs. snowboarders video. Being a once-to-twice a year snowboarder myself, I was interested when I saw the title and thumbnail. I gave it a watch and was very entertained. Let me break it down:

As soon as the old man said that snowboards were like “missiles” and “cause nothing but problems” within the first few seconds of the video, I knew I was in for a good one. So, I got comfortable, turned up the volume a few notches and really enjoyed the next three minutes. First off, I must say that I figured snowboarding started sometime in the 80s, but wasn’t totally sure. The video states that it had been around for about a decade by 1985, but it was then that it was really starting to get popular. I also didn’t know that snowboarding originated in California, even though that makes complete sense. So, I learned a few things. Check one off for educational.

Then comes in the old man for his second appearance in the video. And he makes it count. He claims even though they kick the snowboarders off the mountain, they keep coming back. And that they’re dangerous. But he doesn’t quite know what to call them by. At first he calls them skateboards, but quickly realizes that those are a separate group of punk kids. Maybe they’re skiboards. He tries that one, but still realizes that’s probably not right so he just throws in the towel and says, “whatever they’re called.” But my favorite line from him? When he claims that most of the “whatever they’re called” have no brakes on them. Man, I don’t know how many times I wished I had one of those luxurious snowboards with brakes on them when I got going a little too fast down the mountain and needed to slow down. They would have saved me quite a few tumbles.

How about the fact that ski-lift operators wouldn’t let snowboarders on the lifts, but that not stopping them anyways from still shredding the mountain. You have to hand it to those 1980s snowboarders for being so determined to hone their craft that they would actually hike up the mountain just for one run down it. If that was the case today, then the sport of snowboarding wouldn’t exist because YOU KNOW the younger generation isn’t hiking up any hills to snowboard down it.

Let’s talk about the next guy. This dude represents a 1980s ski resort movie “bad guy” perfectly. The whole look and everything just screams that he doesn’t like unruly kids hanging around his ski resort. And he drops some classic lines too. I love the way he talks about snowboarders like they are all awful human beings. “Uncooperative, had a little bit to drink, smartalecs, etc.” From hearing his side of the story you would think snowboarders were the scum of the earth. I mean, he would ask them “very nicely” to leave the mountain, just to be “lipped off” by being told to “get lost.” What a shame.

The next kid looks like he walked out of an 80s Disney movie. At first I thought he was a snowboarder, but it turns out he was against those dangerous heathens as well. According to him, they ran into the skiers on their way down the slopes and they weren’t able to see what’s going on behind them like, apparently, skiers can when they are faced forward going down the slopes.

Now it’s time to defend snowboarding. The first kid makes a good point as far as the strap that holds the snowboard to a person’s foot. That strapped snowboard can’t get away and fly down the mountain as a loose projectile like…skis can when a skier crashes. But I love what the next snowboard defender says. “Skiing is the same way, ya know. People get on skis and think they can overcome the world.” That’s a quote for the ages. What makes that so funny to me is that it’s totally true in EVERY SINGLE experience I’ve had on ski slopes. As an average snowboarder who likes to go down the slope at average speeds, it’s always, and I mean ALWAYS the skiers who fly right past you like a bullet (just a few feet from you) like they are qualifying for the next Winter Olympics. And if they don’t have ski poles with them, the more dangerous they are. That means they are cocky and will go as fast as they can, as close to you as they can, to prove to absolutely nobody that they are kings of the mountain. So yeah, I love the “overcome the world” comment.

Lastly, I can’t end this blog without talking about the last defender of the snowboarders. Yeah, the guy who looks like he stays Rocky Mountain High. He’s got the whole issue figured out. And it turns out, it was a simple solution. Just give everyone who was against snowboarding a snowboard and let them try it out for themselves. If they can go down the mountain safely, then their minds will surely change and the problem will be solved. On the other hand, if their fatalities start to rack up, then the snowboarders will concede, leave the mountain, and the problem will be solved. Of course, if they are all dead then there won’t be anyone left to tell the snowboarders to leave anymore. Hmm, like I said the kid has the whole problem figured out.

What a video. As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to write about it and share it. I wonder if those guys ever came around and accepted snowboarding as an alternative to skiing? Or did they forever hold a grudge against it, knowing that it was, in fact, no more dangerous than skiing. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this video as much as I did and make sure to grab a skateboard, or ski-board, or whatever they’re called, the next time you hit the slopes.

Garett

Snowboarders Are the Worst! (1980s Video)