Every Christmas season there are movies that are a must watch. The original Home Alone, which hit theaters in 1990, is one of them. If you haven’t seen the movie, then make it a priority to watch it this Christmas season. And also if you haven’t seen it, here is a quick rundown of the plot. After mistakenly being left alone while his family takes a trip to Paris, 8-year old Kevin McCallister must defend the house against two burglars (Harry and Marv/The Wet Bandits). After overhearing their plan to come rob the house at 9:00 later that night, Kevin plans accordingly by setting up all kinds of traps in and around the house to defend it from The Wet Bandits. They end up being very effective, causing great pain to the two burglars and giving way to memorable scenes for viewers of the movie. Here is my ranking of the traps set up by Kevin, in order of what I believe are the least painful to the most painful:

11. The Chicken Feathers

This is obviously the least painful trap set up by Kevin in the movie since it inflicts no pain at all, although you could make the case it inflicts pain upon Harry’s self-esteem. When he walks face-first into a piece of Saran wrap covered with a sticky substance, he also steps into a rope that triggers a fan to blow feathers all over his face. Kevin was surely going for the humiliation factor with this one and I think it worked when Marv asked him why he was dressed like a chicken.

10. Slipping on the Toy Cars

Kevin sets up a bunch of little toy cars in front of the staircase, so when Harry and Marv go to chase him down, they step on (and slip) on the cars, falling straight on their backs. Now, this is surely painful, but with all other traps considered, it’s not too bad. It might knock the breath out of you, and it definitely wouldn’t feel good falling on your back on top of the toy cars. But out of the traps that inflict pain, this is the least painful.

9. Cutting the Rope Connected to the Treehouse

Kevin’s plan once the burglars were inside the house was to get them to chase him, thereby falling into each of the traps he had set up. This is the case when he ziplines out of the window into the treehouse and threatens to call the cops. When Harry and Marv are making their way across the rope by hand, Kevin cuts his end from the treehouse, causing the two to swing back and crash into the side of the brick house. The force that they hit the house with was pretty impactful, which definitely wouldn’t have felt good. I’ve always wondered though, why they didn’t just kick their feet out before colliding into the side of the house to ease the impact and lessen the pain.

8. Slipping Down the Icy Stairs

Being in Chicago, it was very cold during Christmas time. So cold that when Kevin poured buckets of water over the concrete steps outside the house, they froze over. In Marv’s attempt to break in the house, he steps on the first step and instantly slips and slides all the way down on his back. This would cause a lot of pain to the back and neck, sliding over each step all the way down to the bottom. It’s also funny hearing the noise he makes as he is sliding down each step on his back.

7. Slipping Up the Icy Stairs

While Marv is slipping down the icy stairs in the backyard, Harry attempts to go up the stairs in the front. But he doesn’t know that they are icy as well, and slips on the first step he takes, falling backwards onto his back on the hard concrete. The reason I ranked this one ahead of Marv falling down the stairs is because Harry slips twice trying to climb the stairs and falls back both times. The first time would hurt quite a bit, but the second time would hurt way worse. That was when he slipped backwards and landed on the stairs before flipping backwards all the way back to the sidewalk.

6. Stepping on the Ornaments

I always thought this was an underrated trap. When Marv finally sees his opportunity to get in the main part of the house, he climbs through an open window and into the living room. But as he steps down onto the floor from the window (barefoot from the result of another trap), he steps directly onto a bunch of Christmas ornaments strategically placed onto the floor. That would almost be like stepping on glass and would cut your feet all up. You can hear them pop loudly as he steps on multiple ones and it just sounds like it hurts.

5. Stepping on the Nail

Marv’s feet took some punishment in this movie. This is also the trap that led to him being barefoot for the Christmas ornament trap. When he was in the basement, he attempted to go up the stairs to the main level of the house, but the stairs were covered in sticky tar and Marv stepped right out of his shoes. Then, just like Kevin had planned, Marv stepped onto the nail that was pointing up out of the wooden stair. There is no doubt this would hurt like crazy. Stepping on a nail barefooted almost makes you cringe just thinking about it.

4. Hot Door Handle

While Marv took some serious damage to his feet, Harry took some serious burns to the skin. This is the first one. Kevin hangs an electric charcoal lighter on the inside door handle, causing the outside door handle to be scalding hot. When Harry finally makes it to the top of the icy steps, he goes to open the door and burns the inside of his hand viciously. He instantly jumps back down the stairs and buries his hand in the snow to cool it off and you can hear the sizzling. When he pulls it out, he has the letter “M” branded on his palm from the burning door handle. Getting burnt is always very painful, especially on tender skin like the inside of your hand.

3. Hot Iron to the Forehead

While Marv is in the basement, he decides he needs some light to help him see. But when he pulls the string, he finds out it isn’t attached to a lightbulb and instead is attached to a scalding hot iron. The iron drops down from the laundry chute and hits him square in the forehead, leaving an iron mark from it being heated up. The impact from a falling iron would be painful enough, much less the fact it was burning hot. Marv might want to get checked out for a concussion after he gets to the police station.

2. Paint Cans to the Face

This one is a little tough to judge the exact amount of pain felt because we don’t know how much paint was in the cans. You can clearly tell they weren’t full because you can see dried paint on the side of the cans. Are the cans ¼, ½, ¾ full of paint? We will never know, but there is no doubt it was extremely painful either way. The paint cans are tied to a rope and swung down the bannister, connecting with Harry and Marv perfectly square in the front of the face. You have to think that would be a broken nose, teeth knocked out, black eyes, facial fractures, and a concussion. We do find out it knocked out Harry’s gold tooth. Props to the Wet Bandits for getting right back up from this one and continuing their pursuit of the wise Kevin McCallister.

1. Blowtorch to the Head

This has to be the most painful trap that Kevin sets up. Like I already said, burns are always painful and Harry takes a severe burn to the top of his head when he opens up a door and it triggers a blowtorch to fry his scalp. It easily burns off his toboggan and hair and he jumps headfirst in the snow to cool off his head, just like he did with his burnt hand. The thing about this one is, once the blowtorch went off on his head, he just stood there for several seconds screaming. If he would have quickly moved away he could have avoided some of the pain. Perhaps he was in shock. You can’t blame him if that was the case. Out of all the traps, that would be the last one I would want to find myself on the end of.

Garett

Ranking the Traps in the Movie Home Alone (By Pain)